Tell her she can't have a vagina
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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