I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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