if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
