Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
