do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
