dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
