This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
