I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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