Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
