Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
