Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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