Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
