There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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