you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
