The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
