Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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