I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Sorry my hands just texted you
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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