Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
