and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
