So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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