that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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