You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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