just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
