you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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