Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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