yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
