Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
