he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
