the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
