I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
