I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
fuck your aforementioned shoe
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
