so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
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