So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
