I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
