Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
