Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
