This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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