you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
