Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
