It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
