i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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