I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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