Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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