I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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