Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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