I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
