How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
