oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
