More tranny stories later!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
