I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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