i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
