i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
