is wine microwaveable?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
