OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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