Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
