you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
